Layers of the Mind

Simple, inviting, and psychology-inspired

  • Welcome to the Wild Middle: Understanding Adolescence, Together

    Adolescence isn’t just a phase it’s a transformation.

    It’s loud and quiet, messy and meaningful, heartbreaking and heart-opening all at once. If you’re a parent, guardian, teacher, or anyone who loves a growing human between the ages of 10 and 21, you’re in the right place.

    This space was born from my own journey equal parts love, exhaustion, and curiosity as a parent navigating the ups, downs, and in-betweens of raising a preteen. Some days I feel like I’m holding it together with sticky notes and deep breaths. Other days? I’m surprised by the beauty and strength in both of us. Adolescence is one of the most misunderstood and underestimated stages of life. The brain is being rewired. Identity is being formed. And everything emotions, friendships, body changes, risk-taking, rebellion, dreams is amplified.

    (more…)

  • Parenting from fear and learning to shift into trust

  • “When She Won’t Leave Her Room: Summer with a Preteen”

    Some days, I walk past her bedroom and just pause.

    The door’s shut. Again.

    The curtains are closed. Again.

    And when I knock, I’m met with the same sigh and a mumbled “What?” like I’ve just interrupted the most sacred ritual.

    Welcome to summer with a preteen.

    It’s not that I expected us to skip through fields or bond over crafting smoothies every day, but I did imagine a little more connection. A little more sunshine. A little more us.

    But the truth is, preteens need their rooms. It’s their safe space, their messy little cave of control in a world that often feels out of control to them. And as frustrating as it is to see them glued to their bed or lost in screens, it’s not always laziness or defiance. Sometimes, it’s just growing up.

    Still, summer is long. And watching the days melt away behind closed doors hurts a little. I miss her. Even when she’s just 12 feet down the hall.

    Lately,

    I’ve been trying a few low-pressure things that sometimes work—and I’m learning not to take it personally when they don’t.

    So how do I get her out of that room without making it a battle or a power struggle 

    • Invite, don’t demand
      “Want to help me pick out snacks at the store?” feels way better than “You need to get up and do something.”
    • Offer a reason to leave her room—without an agenda
      Ice cream run. Target trip. A show in the living room. Bonus if there’s food.
    • Respect her space—but keep knocking
      I don’t give up just because she says no the first time. I let her know the door isn’t shut emotionally, even when it is physically.
    • One-on-one time in her world
      Sometimes, the only way to get her to come out… is to go in. Sit on the floor. Ask about her game or her playlist. Let her lead. And then? Maybe she follows me out.
    • Don’t guilt—connect
      “You’ve been in there all day!” makes her shut down. “Hey, I miss hanging out with you,” opens a door.

    I am Learning………..

    I can’t force connection. But I can keep planting seeds.

    I can make the world outside her room a little softer.

    I can trust that just because she wants space, doesn’t mean I’ve lost her.

    This phase? It’s not rejection. It’s transition.

    And I’m allowed to feel sad about it and give her the space she needs.

    Final Thought:

    I’m trying to meet her where she is, not drag her where I think she should be.

    Because maybe summer doesn’t have to look like adventure after adventure.

    Maybe it’s just about keeping the door open.

    Let’s share together:

    Have teens who retreat often?

    What gentle strategies have helped you reconnect without forcing?

    Drop your ideas below let’s lean on each other through this stage.

    #MomLife #ParentingWhileHealing #EmotionalRegulation #GentleParenting

  • Good Morning, Mama! You’ve Got This!

    Okay, maybe I didn’t leap out of bed like a Disney character singing to birds…

    But I did get up.

    And that? That’s enough to start something good.

    Some mornings are smooth. Others feel like chaos with a side of spilled cereal. But every single day is a fresh start and this morning, I’m choosing to show up, even if I’m still in pajamas and running on caffeine and determination.

    Today, I’m reminding myself:

    I’m allowed to start slow and still finish strong. A rough morning doesn’t mean a rough day. I don’t have to get it perfect~ just keep it loving (mostly). My kid may roll their eyes, but deep down, they need my steady love. Laughter counts as progress. So does a dance break in the kitchen.

    Parenting is messy and beautiful and exhausting and hilarious. And today, I’m leaning into the joy where I can find it ~ even if it’s just in a quiet sip of coffee before the noise starts.

    “Progress over perfection. Smiles over stress. Love over everything.”

    So here’s to a new day, a new chance, and a lot of grace. Let’s make it a good one, even if it’s a little wild.

    “Today, I lead with love — not perfection. I give grace to myself and my child. We’re growing, not just surviving. And that’s more than enough.”

    I’d love to hear from you!

    Are you starting your day slow, silly, strong, or somewhere in between?

    Drop a comment below and share:

    Your own morning mantra

    One small win from today (even if it’s just brushing your teeth!)

    Or just say “Me too” if you needed this reminder today

    “Parenting, Psychology, and Showing Up Messy Together.”)

  • “It’s Okay If You’re Tired: Parenting, Psychology, and Giving Yourself Grace”

    There’s something I want to say today to you, and honestly, to myself:

    It’s okay if you’re doing everything “right” reading the books, learning the science, trying to stay calm and it’s still hard. Parenting a pre-teen can feel like being emotionally hit over and over again without time to recover. And when you’re also trying to heal your past, go to school, and show up in relationships… it’s no wonder your body feels heavy some days.

    It’s okay if you’re tired.

    This Isn’t Laziness — It’s Emotional Exhaustion

    Psychology has given me language for what I’m feeling lately: emotional fatigue. It’s the kind of tired that doesn’t go away with a nap. It comes from constantly managing not only your child’s feelings but your own. From trying to stay regulated while being screamed at. From holding space for everyone when you’re not even sure where your own space is.

    And here’s the truth I’m learning (the hard way): even self-aware, well-intentioned, therapeutic parents hit walls.

    You Don’t Have to Fix Everything Today

    Sometimes I feel like if I don’t fix this now this pattern, this behavior, this reaction — I’ll mess her up forever. That fear drives me to over-function, over-analyze, and sometimes even freeze.

    But the more I study psychology, the more I’m reminded: growth takes time. Brains don’t rewire overnight. Safety is built in small moments, not grand speeches.

    So today, instead of fixing everything, I’m giving

    myself permission to rest.


    A Note to You

    If you’re showing up at all even imperfectly, you’re doing something beautiful.

    You’re trying.

    You’re learning.

    You’re still here

    And that’s enough for today.

    “You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.”— Unknown




  • “Why I Chose Psychology: A Journey Through Struggle, Curiosity, and Hope”

    There’s something powerful about reaching a point in life where pain pushes you to seek answers not just for yourself, but for the people you love. That’s what brought me here, to this blog, and to studying psychology.

    I never imagined I’d go back to school at this point in my life, but here I am learning the inner workings of the mind while also trying to make sense of my own world as a parent. Specifically, as a mom to a strong-willed, emotionally intense pre-teen, I’ve been on a rollercoaster of conflict, confusion, and heartbreak. Most days I feel like I’m failing. Some days I feel like I’m barely holding it together.

    What I didn’t expect is how much my daughter would become one of my greatest teachers not through ease, but through struggle.

    Her defiance, mood swings, and emotional explosions have cracked open something in me: a deep desire to understand, not just react. I wanted to understand what was happening under the surface in her, and in me. Why did everything feel like a power struggle? Why did I feel so helpless? Why did our connection feel so far away even though we lived under the same roof?

    I started reading about emotional regulation, brain development, trauma, attachment anything I could get my hands on. What began as desperation slowly turned into curiosity, and eventually into purpose.

    That’s when I knew I needed more than just articles and podcasts. I needed to go deeper. Psychology felt like a path forward not just for helping her, but for healing myself, too.

    This blog is my attempt to document that journey. I’m not writing as an expert. I’m writing as a mom who’s in the thick of it, a student who’s trying to make sense of what I’m learning, and a human being who believes that healing and understanding often start by saying, “This is hard. And I’m trying.”

    If you’re here — whether you’re a parent, student, or someone just trying to make sense of the chaos I hope you feel a little less alone. I believe we’re all just doing our best with the tools we’ve been given. My hope is that, through this space, we can build a few more tools together!

    “What if the worst moments of your life are actually invitations to grow into who you were meant to be?” — Unknown

  • Welcome to Layers of theMind a space where psychology meets healing.

    I started this blog as a way to make sense of my own thoughts, emotions, and life experiences through the lens of psychology. Writing is therapeutic for me, and I hope that what I share here can also support, comfort, or inspire others on their own mental health journeys.

    Whether you’re curious about how the mind works, struggling with emotional challenges, or just looking for a place where honesty and healing meet you’re in the right place. I’m not a professional psychologist, just someone passionate about growth, self-awareness, and helping others feel less alone.

    Thanks for being here.