Layers of the Mind

(And How to Connect With Them Without Being a Cringe Machine)

Let’s face it: teens today are basically a different species than we were. They’re growing up in a world of BeReal, skincare fridges, and “soft girl” vs. “grunge fairy” aesthetics. If you’ve got a teenage daughter, niece, student or you’re just trying to connect with the girls of Gen Z and Gen Alpha here’s a cheat sheet of what they’re into right now, plus some meaningful ways to bond over it (without embarrassing them too much).

Skincare, Aesthetics & Self-Care Vibes

From face masks to jade rollers, today’s teens are obsessed with wellness routines especially ones they can film on TikTok.

Try Together:

Make a DIY spa night with homemade sugar scrubs and cucumber slices. Create “aesthetic” Pinterest boards together. Shop for affordable skincare and make it a little mom-daughter haul.

Connection Tip: Ask her to teach you her routine it shows you value her world, and bonus: your skin wins too.

Creative Outlets (That Are Also TikTok-Worthy)

Many teen girls express themselves through art, journaling, room decor, or digital design.

Try Together:

Create a vision board or bullet journal page side-by-side. Learn digital design with Canva (great for school and social content). Start a mother-daughter paint night with Bob Ross tutorials (yes, he’s trending again).

Conversation Starter: “If your life was a mood board, what colors or quotes would be on it?”

Social Media Trends & Aesthetics

Yes, they know all the TikTok dances. No, you don’t have to join in (unless you want to).

Try Together:

Ask her to show you her favorite creators. Make a fun video together lip syncs, recipes, or a goofy pet reel. Try a BeReal moment if she’s into it.

Connection Tip: Respect their digital space but show interest it makes online life feel less like a secret cave.

Niche Interests & Hyperfixations

Today’s teen girls love going deep into specific interests like Taylor Swift, Studio Ghibli, crystals, or astrology.

Try Together:

Host a mini themed night (Swiftie sleepover, anime bento box picnic, zodiac birthday bash). Watch her favorite show or read the book she’s obsessed with.

Ask: “What’s something you’re totally into right now, even if it’s weird or random?” (Bonus: Be genuinely excited.)

Cozy Crafts & Cottagecore Dreams

Crafting is cool again especially when it comes with soft music and vintage vibes.

Try Together:

Crochet or make friendship bracelets. Decorate mugs with Sharpies and bake them in the oven. Press flowers or make DIY candles.

Bonding Idea: Build a cozy “rainy day box” full of shared crafts, snacks, and a playlist.

Music, Playlists & Emotional Vibes

Music is a teen girl’s therapy, identity, and creative escape all rolled into one.

Try Together:

Make each other a playlist of your “top 5 songs that describe your week.” Go on a drive and let her DJ. See if she wants to share her favorite sad song and don’t try to fix the feelings, just listen.

Parent Tip:

Invite her to share a song that means a lot to her and ask what it makes her feel. Make a “then vs. now” playlist together: her current faves vs. what you loved at her age.

Connection Cue: Deep listening (without interruption or interpretation) sends the message: “I’m here for your feelings, not just your behavior.”

How to Actually Connect:

Here’s the secret: it’s not about loving the same things. It’s about showing you care about what she loves, even if it’s glittery water bottles or fanfic about animated boys.

Ask open questions: “What’s something that made you laugh this week?” Respect her privacy, but stay present. Be the safe place, not the critic.

Guiding Principles for Connection

Stay curious, not critical. Offer structure with flexibility. Ask, don’t assume. Let her lead sometimes.

“When teens feel heard, they open up. When they feel controlled, they shut down.” – Adapted from the work of Dr. Dan Siegel

Bonus Download:

Teen Connection Bingo – A printable game to try new things together (like matching face masks, making playlists, journaling, or watching throwback Disney Channel).